Dragons, and the Dungeons who love them
A rifle’s single-shot capability forces the user to make each round count, increasing the chance of a hit. This feature also eliminates even the possibility of “rock ‘n’ rolling,”… -Max Brooks, The Zombie Survival Guide
It’s this kind of forward thinking that allows the D&D player to flourish in life. Sure, they may be overweight and their faces may remind you of the leaving in a discarded pizza box, but I urge to give them a second look.
Take this situation in example. You’re riding an elevator. Suddenly, the power switches off, and it lurches to a stop. You may think that having that pretty secretary from the 15th floor locked inside the steel pendulum of death might make for an interesting afternoon. But what if no one comes for you? Pretty though she may be, 12 hours later she’ll be a sweaty, weepy mess that’s looking at you for answers. And you don’t have any answers. You have always been too busy with the ladies.
Enter IT guy. He was just upstairs fixing the CEO’s computer, making conversation with the man you’ve been trying to get a meeting with for the last 2 months. Now you’re stuck in an elevator with him. Too bad he’s not that pretty secretary, right? Wrong. After an hour of waiting, IT guy formulates a plan. You’ll boost him up through the access hatch, he’ll see that you are just below the 5th floor door, he’ll check for traps (of which there are none, but better safe than sorry), and then he’ll pop the door lock with his Swiss army knife (always be prepared) and open the doors by applying leverage to either side.
“How did you do that?” you’ll ask in your masculine voice.
The IT professional will smile and say, “We played out this exact situation during D&D.”
“What’s a D&D?” you’ll say stupidly.
But the IT guy is already gone. The power outage has wreaked havoc on the mainframe and he has a job to do. And you’ll be left alone, with nothing but cheap sex and expensive alcohol to keep you warm. And I will pity you.
